My name's Karen. Recently moved from Michigan to the Philippines for studies. I love diversity, wine, the Western culture & pace. I love playing sports or anything that keeps me moving. I keep a bucket list. Minimalist in training. Curious about Zen tactics, path of enlightenment, and astrology. I like hearing myself laugh. DISCLAIMER: Everything I write here are my own opinion and views. If I offend you in any way shape or form, then I suggest you divert away from this page... but thank you for checking it out.
Milk w/ cinnamon & melted Toblerone
New-merchandise smell, tags still on
That giddy feeling one gets with novelty
A wear or two, the scent starts to go
It ends up at the bottom of your drawer.
You know that book that is your favorite
You’ve read it a thousand times, print by print?
You know how it ends, yet you keep reliving it
I imagined that’s how stable love should feel.
Cycle of emotions, recycled emotions
Same lust, same ‘love’, different person
Different insecurity, different jealousy
I wish I could say I am a different person.
There are moments I’d get clarity
When I’m immersed with anything but my fantasies
There’s solace in being alone, when I’m drinking
My hot milk with melted toblerone & cinnamon
There’s so many emotions running through my head, and this time, good ones. I can’t stop smiling replaying what has happened. The way we met was so uncanny and I didnt expect this to come out of it. The fact that we knew where we want to be — with each other — when we were about to say bye to an ordinary acquaintance. When I went to shake for your hand farewell and you took it and placed it on your chest..I usually don’t enjoy being the big spoon but it felt right with you.. I could’ve stood there forever just wrapping my arms around your waist and my hands on your chest while you try to convince me to stay without the pressure… you said “leave as good acquaintances or stay and become greater together”. And I stayed. We had so much fun together, we clicked so well. I have never laughed so hard and felt so comfortable in my life. I loved running around with you, loved it when you push me beyond my comfort zone and grow. I love it when you told me to hop on your back so we can outrun things faster — you did point out that you used to run cross-country and it’s sweet that you feel that you have to impress me when I already am every second we’re together.. we ran like the wind. I love having my arms around you, be the big spoon. I’ve never felt this contented and comfortable.. you weren’t a missing half — you made my heart bigger when I’ve been tryin to make it whole. You made me feel that I was already complete, not because of you but because of what I already am. I am happy every bit of time I have with you. Running around together chasing nothing and anything with our blissfully obnoxious unharmanonized laughter is home, I can never get enough. I have never wanted to see anything this much with eyes closed. I am so happy.
I tried holding on to you as much as i could but then, I had to wake up.
Now, let us see.. what am I to do with you?
I am not creative enough for a title.
I trust my instincts, I really do. But, after some not-so-great-things I went through ( all of us did), I am beginning to doubt my instincts. It is both a good and bad thing. Good — because it has forced me to open up to others by asking their advise and two cents; bad — because, sometimes, most of the time, not all situations are the same especially when it comes to the matters of brain chemicals and hormones or as others call it — “matters of the heart”. I blame the TV show , Awkward, for me writing about personal stuff on here. Here is my question right now: a) do you listen to the majority who tells you the opposite of your instinct OR b) do you just listen to your own intuition and do what your subjective self thinks?
Thing is, my subjective self is so blinded by feelings and left-brain shit that I refuse (coz I could if I focus) to rationalize things and just be awful. BUT, if I am all logic, then my decision would practically disregard my emotions and shit. IDK dude. The fact I am writing on a blog does not mean I am out of options, I just needed this out of my system. SUUURREE I could’ve written this on Word and never publish it but, eh, wheres the “oomf” or whatever in that?
Needless to say, this did not enlighten anyone.. no even me. Cool.
For the past couple of days, all we hear about is the earthquake and its ongoing aftermath. Our brothers and sisters who have fallen victim worse than any of us are in desperate need of help. We keep up with the news of what’s been going on through social networking sites and mass texts that’s been circulating – and some, if not most of us, rely on these sources since there really aren’t that many options. But it is an entirely different story when you personally witnessed the outcome of the earthquake and the damages it has been done to our brothers and sisters. Like you, most of my information is word of mouth and what others relay. But it is important to be vigilant as to which information is factual and which are rumors. This information is subjective to what I have personally seen.
Up until yesterday, I have only volunteered within the city and even that, you can somehow feel the tragedy and it is enough to motivate you to do more. But yesterday, few people and I went to Maribojoc to do our own volunteer work and also personally check up on our friends that we have not heard from since the initial earthquake. Being stuck in the city, you hear all these horror stories about how terrible it is in these affected areas and how hopeless the situation is. When we went to Maribojoc, I was both relieved and saddened by what I saw. The Abatan bridge connecting Maribojoc to Tagbilaran did fall down, but not to the extent that it is hopeless or that there is no way to get across and get help – so I am thankful for that. When we found our friends, it was a relief like no other to see them more than safe, but well provided. Yes, I cannot imagine how it feels like to lose your home but I am so thankful that they are all in one piece, together with family, and with more than enough food and water to sustain them. Life now is rough and a deviation from what we are used to but it is not hopeless. The locals mentioned that the centralized area of the town is getting the relief goods but the areas that cannot be reached by motorized vehicles (mountains, areas that can only be reached by foot) are not getting goods. There were not that many people in the evacuation areas so my assumption is, either they left Maribojoc or some are stuck in their own areas without food and water.
You hear these stories that there is no way for people to go in and out of Maribojoc without taking the long way, but that is not the case. The bridge did collapse but it is still passable on foot through a tiny and narrow bamboo bridge that has been made and there are mini-boats that can help you cross the river. I am relieved to say, that at least, with what I saw, the situation in Maribojoc is not as hopeless NOW as what I have been hearing. It’s no cake-walk but it is not hopeless, either. I can only say that about the parts that I did see, but I cannot speak for the areas that we didn’t reach. Houses are destroyed, the church is in rubles, but most people are safe and taken care of. I just hope the others are, too.
There are still so many areas that need help, and I know it is not easy distributing goods fair and square because there is a system to follow with these things especially if you are an official organization that are tied to procedures which, I understand the necessity. But, there are ways, and it is doable. If you have friends or people that can pool together resources and donate goods on our own, we can target the places that the organizations (who are more than generous and I am sure are doing their very best to cater to everyone) is having a hard time reaching and cannot easily distribute food, water, etc.
Manpower is not also the only way to help. If you have witnessed the other affected areas, please write about it and describe (the facts) what you have seen and experienced (road/route, shelter, other needs situation) so everyone else can be aware. If you also know of specific places that haven’t been reached, please post the specific barangay and town so we can forward this information to those who are more than willing to help.
Remember, we cannot wait for the victims to reach out to us; we need to take initiative and do what we can do to help even if it is a little bit.
I wouldn’t call it ‘poetry’..
I couldn’t sleep, so I wrote. In my head, it was a rap, and I purposely avoided deep and big words lol I normally don’t write stuff in perspective and tone like this, but that is the beauty in writing.. you can be and write anything! Lol
The after product made me LOL o_o
My walk you hate, my hair you envy
I can’t cater to your insecurities
I dress my way, you roll your eyes
I’m pretty aware you’re jealous of my style
You always find ways to criticize
You can barely say anything nice
You say my shirt don’t look that good
Yet 5 minutes later, you pretty much copied my look
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
But shit, girl, get your own ideas
This is no competition, be your own person
Copy this, copy that, but tone down on copying what I got
You keep talking smack and all this negativity
Yet somehow nothing you say is registering to me
It’s such a shame, you looked so sure and confident
But all this hatin you’re giving me just makes you look tacky 0_0
So pretty please, as much as I’m flattered
Spend your time on less trivial matters
I’ve wasted 6 minutes of my time rhyming this
Imagine all those times it cost you being up on my business.
I used to get really annoyed with overly perky and optimistic people. I always go “there’s no way you have no problems and if you do, pretending it doesn’t exist isn’t helpful”. No one can be THAT cheerful, right? Unless you are unfairly blessed and you sucked in all the luck and happiness in the world leaving everyone else short of it.
I am grateful I am slowly getting rid of that mentality. Before, I would always hold on to my problems and my mishaps thinking that if I hold on tight enough, it will motivate me to make sure I never have to deal with misfortunes again or that it will keep me humble when I do overcome these obstacles. Boy, was I wrong! Sometimes, there is nothing to do but BE POSITIVE and be genuinely happy even if everything else is not going according to what I have envisioned at this moment. I constantly tell myself that everything I’m going through right now will not last forever: both the good and the bad. It is just now that I am slowly grasping that concept.
Staying positive and being optimistic is harder than accepting the crappy situation one might be in at this very moment, but the feeling that I get whenever I expand my optimism, and my cheerfulness and affecting those around me in such a positive way is great. An extra kick of endorphin is always welcome :)
And, if somehow the negativity will get to me once again, I can just always look back on this post and try and relive the feelings I have now. :)
“You need to remove from your life the day-to-day problems that absorb most people for meaningful parts of their day. ‘You’ll see I wear only gray or blue suits,’ he said.’I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.’ He mentioned research that shows the simple act of making decisions degrades one’s ability to make further decisions. It’s why shopping is so exhausting. ‘You need to focus your decision-making energy. You need to routinize yourself. You can’t be going through the day distracted by trivia.’”
Barack Obama on optimizing decision-making, excerpted from Michael Lewis’s fantastic Vanity Fair profile of the President.
SUPER SUPER AGREE
(Source: , via superamit)